Is it even possible? Is there some Imagine Method Mojo™ to make this happen?
Everyone talks about overcoming the critical voice or silencing the critical voice, yet what if that sh!##^ little voice in our head is important for something?
I mean if you’ve viewed your critical voice as the enemy keeping you away from happiness, sabotaging your desires, stealing your confidence, causing you problems left and right, while demeaning your every move – wouldn’t making it an ally be a fantastic turn of events?
Yet, I doubt calling some part of myself sh!##^ is helpful. Even though that’s how it feels when my critical voice pipes up at the most inopportune moments.
Here’s an approach I’ve been using for the last year. While it works, it doesn’t exactly have the desired outcome which is total freedom from my critical voice.
A More Woo Approach to Silencing the Critical Voice
Offer your critical voice compassion without getting sucked into the story from the past or the indefensible reason that the critical voice is using to make it’s case.
Here’s a real and personal example.
I have a little crush on someone. We talk semi-frequently in a public environment.
I would love to ask him for a coffee or something but my critical voice always manages to convince me that ‘now is not the time’ or that ‘he’s not interested in that way’ or that ‘no one is gonna want to date me’ or ‘he needs to be the one to ask me so I don’t look desperate’.
So I don’t ask.
He and I talk for a few minutes and one of us walks or is called away.
Before I started doing the compassion practice with my inner critic, I would harangue myself with what ifs, why didn’t I’s, and name called myself for days afterward. The self-talk became toxic and seeped into other areas of my life, making me even more gun shy and tongue-tied, while lowering my self-esteem.
In the compassion practice, I say very little and simply offer that ‘thinking/feeling/believing/perceiving part of me’ an internal hug. If I DO say something it’s as simple as ‘I trust that’s what you think, feel, believe, perceive.’
There are two parts to this which helped silence the inner critic. YAY!
First, I’m acknowledging the information my inner critic is sharing. Second, while I’m acknowledging the story exists for my inner critic, it’s without engaging in the story.
My relationship with my inner critic changed through the use of this simple but slightly woo-woo practice. Really a hug and a few words can be magical.
Instead of loud and obnoxious in my head, creating an impulsive hiding away through food, procrastination, negative self-talk and boat loads of shame and worry that my inner critic is going to keep me a spinster and dying alone with 50 rescued animals eating my flesh because no one thought to check on me in months, my inner critic goes quiet.
I think initally it was quiet from shock as in OMG she’s hearing me and trusting me. Woohoo!
Victory at the Silence of the Inner Critic
While the silence was welcomed, the aftermath of the silence wasn’t.
When my inner critic returned it did so in stealth mode. It now has a soothing manner and undermines other areas where I’ve cultivated stronger self-discipline or it shreds my always in short supply of will-power.
I celebrate the silence of minutes, hours, or possibly days.
I still need strategies to deal with stealth mode. It’s a drain on the mental and emotional resources to always be on the lookout for these stealth attacks from my inner critic.
So when I read an email that tells me there is a way I can work harmoniously with my critical voice … I’m skeptical, with just a tiny hint of
It’s that curiosity that urges me forward in my mission to find the best ways to use this critical voice of mine to help me build my joy-filled, fully lived life.
I’m open to exploring ways to using everything I’ve got – including the harshest, darkest, shadowy, most deeply despised and hidden parts of myself.
These aren’t the parts I want in the drivers seat of my life. Getting them into the backseat or even a jump seat opens more doors of possibility in designing and living a life I love.
I’m learning that’s the only way to really live this life to it’s fullest and make my greatest potential reality – accept and use all of myself in living fully through the time I’ve been given.
If my internal critical voice wasn’t useful for something – it wouldn’t exist. Yet it’s definitely NOT what’s meant to rule the life I live or the one you live either.
When Is The Training and Where Is It Happening?
It’s happening Tuesday July 11, 2017 at 3:00 pm EST and being led by Tim Kelley. It’s an online webcast or you can call in and listen on the phone. Read all the details and reserve your space in the Transforming Your Inner Critic class.
It’s already happened and you can watch the replay or download the audio by going here. That link opens in a new window.
Tim Kelley is a globally respected teacher who blends psychological and spiritual insights into a coherent package.
As an internationally renowned transformation coach and change agent himself, he’s created an innovative and structured approach for teaching the integration of the many internal voices inside that can get in the way of enacting your highest vision.
Tim’s methods have been used successfully by CEOs of multinational corporations, political leaders, billionaires and transformational change agents alike.
In the interest of being fully transparent with you, I just listened for the third time and I’m still contemplating joining the full 7 Week Inner Harmony live training which begins on July 25, 2017.
Here’s why. Everything listed below is in less than 45 minutes of the free training class and it’s why I’m listening again.
- Seeing some classic inner critic tricks 2:55
- Aikido moves to work with the inner critic 4:00 – 11:42
- Working with parts that distract and sabotage dreams/desires 14:45
- Identifying our Primary selves 18:30
- What a decision looks like to our parts 18:50
- Bringing parts together to acheive more with less effort 19:12
- What the inner critic really wants to be 20:15
- When and why you want the inner critic to do more 22:13
- How to develop the relationship with the parts 25:20, with a facilitator 25:35, on your own 26:30
- A key to unlock your true potentianl (aka higher purpose in life) 35:45
- Working with the defensive, keeping you safe world facing parts 40:45
My ego is suggesting that I can do this on my own. But I’ve been having conversations with different parts of myself since 2012/2013 and while things have changed slightly – the inner diatribe is still rowdy, distracting and sabotaging me.
Do I want to keep attempting this on my own? Do you?
If you know that it’s time for you to finally free yourself of the internal war with your inner critic and liberate more energy to create the life you truly desire, I recommend this free call!
IF you choose to go deeper into The Inner Harmony practice after listening to the training which I’m 99% certain that I’m joining the 7 Week Inner Harmony live training, I do earn a commission. It doesn’t cost you any more though.
The commission will be nothing compared to ending the internal stand-off I’ve had with my critical voice and other scared and sabotaging parts of me.
Listen to the recordings with Tim Kelley as he shares how you can transform your inner critic into a harmonious and valued member of your inner team — one that is here to help you achieve your true purpose.
July 22 Update: Tim also did an amazing Q&A which you can hear along with the first training at this link even if you’re not interested in the 7 week Inner Harmony Process.