We don’t always know who we are because we’ve changed to fit into some circumstance that helps us feel safe, feel accepted and not be judged by people.
When you’re feeling judged, you’re likely feeling as though who you are is not acceptable. Acceptance ties into our sense of safety.
There is only one first step to coming back to being more you and that’s to accept who you are as you are in this moment, whatever that means.
What does that mean to accept yourself as you are?
Accept your quirks, your desires, your instincts and beliefs including the ones you feel led you wrong. Accept all the things that you feel are negative about you. Accept all the good about you too, even if you’ve judged it as something else or judged yourself unworthy of it.
Acceptance isn’t surrendering. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t change things or that what you’re accepting is the truth of you who you are.
All acceptance does is free up mental, emotional and physical energy currently being used to fight an internal battle. When you cease the internal battle, you have the opportunity to begin releasing those false aspects of yourself, the ones created and cultivated to please others so you could feel some sense of safety, acceptance or love.
If you need it, get the help of a good counselor and start journaling. If you’re the praying sort, add regular prayer. Meditation and contemplation are also helpful.
This is a journey that creates vulnerability, which is a great power according to Brene Brown.
In addition to this, I took many different personality tests to see what they reveal about who I am. Admittedly, some tests are easier to create desirable results as opposed to a true result, so take your results, not as absolutes but as indicators of what you believe about yourself.
What does it matter if who you are is hidden under layers of who others need and want you to be for them?
Why is being more you so important?
Kristen Joy sums it up nicely.
Resources Mentioned This Episode
Courageous Cue Cards from Crys Wood.
Human Metrics offers a condensed and free version of the Myers-Briggs. Having taken a paid version many years ago, the above free version gave me the same results.
The most detailed version of the D.I.S.C. Assessment can be expensive. However, I found an assessment based on D.I.S.C. offered for free by Tony Robbins.
Sally Hogshead’s Fascination Assessment is a rich treasure trove detailing how the world sees you at your best and how others “view your personality for leadership and inspiration”. It also reveals your most effective collaboration and communication style. I’ve even got a code for you to avoid the normal fee. Click here and enter code “JOY-live” without the quotes.
Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus assessment. This link sends you to the search results where you can find numerous downloads to take the Personality test.
Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiles is the one which had the most emotional impact for me. The assessment profile is free by signing up and includes a great introduction to Dressing Your Truth.
Who you uncover is brilliant, beautiful and amazing. The journey is worth it.
Until next time,
Live. Love. Explore.